Hospital

Sasha drove me to the hospital and wanted to see me to the hospital, but I refused point-blank and decided to show him that I was not so unwell.

Most likely, it looked very unconvincing. Later, eyewitnesses told me that I moved like a wounded spider, legs wide apart, swaying in one direction.

In the hospital I was put up to a big six bed ward, split in halves by a partition with a door. I met the women who had already been getting their treatment. On my right, was a lady named Vera [meaning Faith], Nadezhda [Hope] — on my left. I thought to myself:
«If there is someone whose name is Lyubov [Love] in the other half of the ward that will be a very good sign for me». Eagerly and with great difficulty I went to get acquainted with all the patients. But there was no woman in the ward with such a name. Lying on the bed, I always felt I would fall on the floor, so strongly I was attracted to the left, like with a magnet. For two days, the only thing I wanted was to lie with my eyes shut. And in my dreams, I felt completely healthy and I had same fabulous colorful dreams as before.

From the first day of my stay in hospital, I was given injections with glucocorticosteroid. Additionally, plasmapheresis was prescribed.

Watching women fighting the severe disease for years, I tried to remember every manifestation of multiple sclerosis I was able to notice. I thought that it would be very useful for me at some point in later life.

We used to talk a lot with the women diagnosed with MS as long as we could. I had many questions. In conversations with me they noticed in my words some hope that I would be made well.

One of them said to me then:
«Dear, don’t harbor illusions: this is MS and it will never go away from you. Try to adjust to the new circumstances and accept this diagnosis as it is».

I continued to listen to the instructions of how to live with MS, but inside myself I asked a question:

«Are the tips how to adjust to new additional difficulties those answers so important for me? What about searching for salvation from MS? Is it really impossible…?»

I listened attentively how often I would have to visit doctors' consulting rooms, and what the variety of additional drugs necessary for good health would be. The more they shared important information with me, the more I felt unhealthy and I was losing desire to go to polyclinics.

Alexander’s son, Seryozha, surprised me most of all by his behavior. He behaved as if I were healthy, when he came with Sasha to visit me in the hospital. He helped me stay strong and brave. His stories about his studies distracted me from the sad thoughts and made me believe that everything that happened was nothing but temporary difficulties.

To my joy and to happiness of my dear people, I recovered very quickly. And at the day of my discharge, a new surprise was awaiting for me. Another woman in a satisfactory state was put up to the other half of the ward. I jumped up from the bed and with great hope, went to the ward to get acquainted with her.

«Hello, what’s your name?» I asked her.
«Lyubov! [Love]" the nice-looking woman answered.

Everything as if turned upside down Inside of me. One answer I got for myself and it sounded:
«Everything will be fine!»